So Ive done it, not saying it was the most responsible decision but I feel bastante claro que es que quiero.
I filled out the form to withdraw from CalState OIP Program, and it was surprisingly easy. 1 page, name, address, reason for withdrawing and signature. Now all I have to wait for is to see when the refund comes, but more importantly Ive gone through with the decision and now its up to me what I do!
The worries come naturally, but what will he do, does he have plans? Well yes I do, nothing concrete, but I have time and there are so many possiblities. I dont want structure right now and leaving it to the wind could do me some good I think. If anything it will be more difficult but since when was that a bad thing? Im tired of comfort.
Now if only I can get there more profoundly. Im having one of those identity crisis, you know those? But what I keep telling myself is to just enjoy the life Im living. I shouldnt be worrie about what Im doing what I did or what I will do. I have a direction, Im going east to Buenos Aires so Im not completely lost. But what I think is most important is that I just let things happen and not focus too much on mental progress, growing, finding or defining myself. These things happen naturally and with time and its just my nature to fight that.
I need to stop defining myself and just be, then my life with stop being a crisis and just be. Ahhhhhhh, sounds so peaceful, now the easy part is done. Awareness. Now I just need to stop trying or forcing or one of the words.
Change doesnt equal failure I say!